Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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