The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I had to cum in my sink.
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