i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
