You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
