Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
