Can i not drive my cunt home
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
