so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dicks are not precious.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
