Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
