there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
