whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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