No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
me + whiskey = a bad person
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
