gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
