Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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