I don't think brook has ever known best
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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