Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
