Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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