NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
