She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
