Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize