i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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