I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
