I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
