Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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