Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
