addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
