Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
