Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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