You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That's intense
Moan for me like Helen Keller
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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