Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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