Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
