Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
