Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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