dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
