Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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