If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
