things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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