What a fucking waste of an outfit
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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