i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
