It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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