We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
