I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
