let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
