This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize