we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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