Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize