He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He kissed a someone with a penis
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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