thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
