I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
