C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
