I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
