well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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