Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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