i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
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there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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