He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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