I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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