I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
