That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
