Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
