I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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