she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
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I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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