I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
