Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
